Mirror on the wall

I believe that all around us we have tools to empower ourselves. Using a mirror can really set you up for the day and it can challenge you to  be conscious of your motivations, and when you  look at yourself in the mirror every morning, the things that push you to be successful are staring right at you. 

So, I challenge you, right now, to grab a piece of paper and a pen and take the  mirror challenge!

Everyone’s morning mirror motivations may be different, but the important aspects of this challenge are that you take the time to think about everything that motivates you on a daily basis, write them down to make these ideas come to life, and place this list somewhere that will constantly remind you of these, such as your mirror.

The only person that is stopping you from achieving your goals or dreams is you and face the challenge head on by taking ownership of you. Don’t be afraid to stand up to yourself and make your mirror a powerful motivational tool.

Never underestimate the power within you, because you may be the only person in the entire universe to solve a specific problem. – Gift Gugu Mona

It might feel strange when you first look at yourself in the mirror and start the chat with yourself? 

But trust me you have greatness in you and don’t be afraid to tell “you” what you want to achieve and also what you are  grateful for, and great at!!

Thank you,

Neil

Share my post

You might also like:

Change gear and drive!

Today me and my fellow life coach Sunil Naphray were talking on Loose Men. I made a point that we are all guilty at times living our lives like we are on Cruise control.

If we approach life this way it can be very comfortable and we will only move forward at a certain speed that feels relaxing and safe.

If you continue living like this change can then feel uncomfortable and to move forward will not be so easy to predict. Yet also you won’t be prepared for any unwanted changes that life’s journey may bring?

However, at some point, if you are wanting more from your life you need to put your foot on the pedal and start to drive. You want to get up in the morning, start your engine, take hold of the steering wheel, put your foot on your pedal, and drive!

You want to be the one who dictates your speed, direction, and use of the brake. And you want to open the window and feel the wind in your hair and drive towards the action of making your dreams come true. 

If we persist with the cruise control approach to life you can’t achieve the goals and to live your life from comfort there won’t be any sense of empowerment. 

The only time I use the cruise control option in my car is when I’m driving long distance on the motorway. It is great and I can relax a little and I never get speeding fines and it is less stressful.

In my life, I allow cruise control to make my journey more enjoyable. However, I don’t let myself get so comfortable that I stop paying attention or taking appropriate action to get where I want to go. If I think that is what will happen, I turn it off…fast!

Make plans, set new goals and give yourself the chance to make your dreams come true and don’t be afraid to take control of the journey.

You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream

Thank you,

Neil

Share my post

You might also like:

Nothing Changes, if Nothing Changes?

Many of us fear change in our lives, but there are also things we want to change but don’t know where or how to start. If you start every week thinking, my diet starts on Monday, I’m going to exercise this week or this is my time to give up smoking then you’re not the only one, but there is a well-known phrase which says “Nothing Changes, if Nothing Changes” – basically, just wanting something to change isn’t enough, we need to put in the effort or if we continue to do things the same way all the time, we should not expect a different outcome.

Our bad habits will not be broken by wishful thinking. Instead, it takes a genuine commitment to a new way of operating to make any significant and long-term difference in our lives. It is a solid concept. But it is a faulty concept!

For too many people, things are perfectly OK the way they are, as demonstrated by their lack of doing anything about them. Carrying a few pounds of excess weight? “That’s OK I can live with that”. Not impressing the boss? “He is impossible to please!” Finances an issue? “Things will be OK next month”. The fundamental problem with the “nothing changes, if nothing changes” mantra is that many times, things do change if you don’t do anything! If you keep eating three doughnuts for breakfast every day, you won’t stay the same. Your weight will become more of an issue, if you keep underachieving at work, you won’t just get more eye rolls from the boss – you will get fired! And if you keep adding items you can’t afford onto your increasing credit card balance the bank won’t just keep raising your credit limits, you will find yourself in bankruptcy.

So if you often struggle to motivate yourself to make major changes and accept that status quo is “OK” it could be time to take that step and ask for a little help. Not changing may not change anything today, but it may tomorrow. Keeping the same, safe routine will keep you happy today, but a lack of action certainly does not guarantee that everything will remain the same, either that annoying bad habit won’t break or it will eventually break you!

If it were true that not changing would ensure that everything stayed the same, what an easy world this would be to navigate. The truth is that everything is always changing, so if you are not moving forward, you are moving backwards.

It may be a little late for New Year’s resolutions, but there’s always time to begin working to make necessary changes at both home and work, because this much is true – things won’t change unless something changes. Are you ready for change? Yes, why not let me help you along the way. I can assist you in finding a way that will keep you moving forward, contact me <<here>> to book your free complimentary call.

My Guide on How to Overcome Anything

As we are all very aware during this current pandemic situation, life can change very quickly and we can find our circumstances changing for the worst in the blink of an eye. So no matter what you’re going through personally in life, it’s important to always keep in the back of your mind that you will overcome whatever issue you are dealing with and good times will return. It’s important that you reassure yourself of that every day. To help I have pulled together my guide on how to overcome anything, I hope it helps…

Money Worries:

We often put too much stress on ourselves with regards to money, but if the worst comes to the worst and you do get into debt you’ve still got options. Can you ask your family for help? Or your friends? To those of you who say no, is it because of your pride? If it is then it’s time to think again. Asking for help is never something you should feel ashamed of. And if it’s not family or friends, then there’s government assistance, non-profit organisations, and many other options that exist to help us. Don’t be ashamed to ask!

Loss of a job:

Having a job isn’t just about money, it’s about purpose too. When you’re unemployed, you start to feel like you’re not good enough, but your worth isn’t determined by the job you do, it is only determined by you! If you do find yourself out of work use the time to invest in your passions. Look at unemployment as an opportunity to do what you really want with your life.

Breakdown of a relationship/marriage:

You can devote years to one person only for it to explode in your face but don’t let it break you. Let the end of a relationship be a benchmark of what you don’t want in a partner, and let it be a lesson in how YOU can be better in your next relationship.

Becoming ill:

Health problems slow you down and make life harder than it should be. Build your health up now, to cope with change as you good older and you could feel good for the rest of your life. If you want to feel good, you have to live healthily.

Loss of a Loved One:

This is probably the worst thing that could ever happen to you. We will all deal with this one day, but still, there is no one clear answer to handling the death of a loved one. So why not think of the one they this person always encouraged you to do? Now’s your time to do it, and you can make your loved ones you’ve lost proud.


Bad situations in life never have to break you. As long as you’re breathing and as long as you can still move, your bad situations in life can be temporary. If you need a little extra help I can assist you in finding a way to keep moving forward, contact me <<here>> to book your free complimentary call.

How to develop your stress toolkit…

Something I am passionate about is that lovely word we can all relate to… “Stress”!

At times we can feel stressed because we are overwhelmed, by work, family commitments and everything else that daily life brings, on the other hand, we can often become stressed as we feel that we’re not doing enough. So what can we do to try and gain some control over this horrible cycle? We can learn to control our thoughts and decisions by taking the time to be aware of ourselves and once we do this we can then hopefully stop the ball from rolling too quickly down the hill. 

Living a life that is entirely free of stress and adversity sounds like bliss. But, you may be surprised to find that the happiest and healthiest people are often those who have had early exposure to negative experiences. In fact, moderate amounts of stress are necessary for healthy growth. What’s harmful is large doses of uncontrollable stress. In other words, there’s an optimum amount of stress we can cope with – too much and we overload our minds and bodies, too little, strangely results in the same problem!

When stress is triggered, we experience a physiological response in our brains and in our bodies known as “fight or flight”. It’s our brains’ way of keeping us safe. This response is designed to help us escape, flee, run. But once the “fight or flight” response is triggered, your brain wants to know you’ve escaped the threat, so it needs you to assure it that the danger is over.  But, what do you do? You run, swim, dance around your living room, or do literally anything that moves your body enough to get you breathing steadily and deeply.

The problem with our modern lives is that many of the problems that trigger our stress would be completely inappropriate to literally run from. Can you imagine getting up and fleeing the office the next time a colleague annoys you in a meeting? Of course not, so like all of us, you bottle it up, put on a smile and carry on. Meanwhile, your heart is pumping, and stress hormones have flooded the body and brain. So in order to complete the stress circle, you need to develop some coping mechanisms that you can keep in your back pocket like a little stress toolkit and take them out whenever you are in an uncomfortable situation.

My toolkit consists of:

  1. Laughing – It’s hard to feel anxious when you’re laughing and it’s good for your health
  2. Exercising – Putting physical stress on your body through exercise can help relieve any mental stress.
  3. Listening – Music can have a very relaxing effect on the body and can induce the relaxation response by helping lower blood pressure and heart rate as well as stress hormones.
  4. Breathing – Deep breathing will focus your awareness on your breath, making it slower and deeper, this helps slow your heart rate, allowing you to feel more peaceful.

I can help you create your stress toolkit to suit you, contact me <<here>> to book your free complimentary call.

Even lockdown can have a silver lining…

With all that is going on around us at the moment, it seems an unusual time to talk about being positive. Yet staying positive is essential to coping in a crisis. Now, more than ever before is the time for us to be proactive about creating small moments of happiness in our days, whether it is taking a walk with the family, getting round to those little home or garden maintenance jobs you’ve been putting off, the positive emotions these actions produce help us to undo the negative effects of stress.

Here are a few practical things you can do from day to day to foster positive emotions…

Live in the moment:

Even during lockdown, there are still small moments in your daily routine to savour. The smell of coffee, the feel of the warm shower on your back, the smell of cut grass when you are spending time in your garden. Making a point of stopping to take in these moments, give your brain a chance to enjoy the pleasure rather than running on automatic pilot. These feel-good moments elevate your mood and make you feel calm.

Strengthen your connections:

For those of us living in lockdown with family, this is a great opportunity to spend quality time with the ones we love. How many times have you told the kids you were too busy to play or prioritised domestic chores over outdoor fun. Now is the time to break out the board games, lounge around watching a boxset or just take the opportunity to hug your kids or your spouse, look them in the eyes and have long conversations. Creating closeness will boost your oxytocin (the bonding hormone), giving a feeling of calm and when your oxytocin levels spike, your body takes this as a sign to stop producing cortisol (the stress hormone).

Look for the good in others:

These types of crisis can bring out both the worst and the best in human nature, the food stockpiling and toilet roll bulk buying being a real low and the weekly clap for carers proving there is a good side to all of this and suggests that the best in human nature is rising to the coronavirus challenge. Philanthropists such as Bill and Melinda Gates are donating money to scientists to find a cure. Doctors, nurses and supermarket staff are working overtime to help sick patients and furloughed airline staff are driving delivery vans and volunteering in hospitals. Neighbourhoods are putting together care packages for vulnerable people and find beds for those sleeping rough. People are posting positive messages on social media. We’re reaching out to each other to ensure we stay safe and when we tune into these positive and pro-social aspects of the crisis, we are all united in our hope to return to what will be our new “normal”.

Taking charge of our mental health and capturing the small moments will help as we go further into the unknown, research has shown that creating positive emotions on the back of a stressful event, can help us to recover more quickly and have a faster “recovery” time – our heart rate lowers and our blood pressure stabilises more quickly when we are able to be positive.

By tuning into these positive aspects, you can potentially change your brain chemistry and build up your energy stores to help you cope with the other aspects of your day that have been made more difficult. Taking charge of your mental health will help to ensure that you come out of this experience stronger than ever.

Happy Friday!

Every Friday how many of us send or receive that message “Happy Friday”?

It’s the most celebrated day of the workweek, symbolizing an end to the drudgery and a gateway to a weekend full of adventures. A shining beacon of hope to workers, students, and humans everywhere.

You don’t need to wait for that Friday to come every week you can take action every day and before you sleep at night spend some time to write how you want that perfect day to be?

Once you have planned your perfect day, then the next step is to jumpstart your day when you wake up and get into a flow where you can immediately start being productive.

Take out a pen and a piece of paper and answer the following:

In order to have a perfect day. . .

I am going to do the following?

Every day is a happy day and by planning your days it helps you sleep and also gives you a sense of purpose.

Don’t wait for that one day to come where you can feel happy.  Make everyday count as it’s a unique gift we have been given, and we can change every day to become our perfect day.

Thanks

Neil  

“You don’t have to be great to get started, but you have to get started to be great.” Les Brown Quotes

Share my post

You might also like:

1917

The other night my girlfriend and I watched this amazing movie and we were both blown away by it.  The director had done an amazing job to show the horrors of World War I. 
 
A director controls the film’s artistic and dramatic aspects and uses their imagination to visualize the screenplay and then guide all to that vision. 
 
They will choose the cast, production, design and all other areas to ensure that their vision is brought to life!
 
When you consider this gift we have all been given and that is “life” we can also become our own director and create what we want and you don’t need to be an actor in your life movie.
 
Don’t be afraid to step off the stage and live your life and take control of your own results, and get yourself into the director’s chair. 
 
We can often forget who owns the script? Yet it’s your script no one else’s and you have the power to engineer your path. 
 
Don’t let emotions or circumstances direct us through life, take control of your destiny and build your own masterpiece.
 
If you need to alter the script then do it.
 
Become the greatest person you can and be proud of all of the movies you have created. 

“If you take responsibility for yourself you will develop a hunger to accomplish your dreams.” Les Brown

 

Thank you,

Neil

Share my post

You might also like:

The Bamboo plant

The other day I was sitting and thinking about a project I was working on and I reached a point where I thought “sod this for a game of soldiers I have had enough”

 

Then I remember this story I  read, and it suddenly made think just get it done!

The Bamboo plant is amazing it takes five years to grow!!

 You water it and wait. You wait an entire year and nothing appears. No bud, no twig, nothing.

 

“So you keep watering and protecting the area and taking care of the future plant. You wait for another year. Still, nothing happens.

 

“Another year passes, and still no sign of growth. It has been three years. Should you give up? Someone told you that it might take a while to really see the fruits of your efforts, so you keep on keeping on.

 

“Another year passes. No plant.

 

“You begin year number five with the same passion as day number one. You keep watering and keep waiting. Finally, after five years, the Bamboo starts growing-and in six weeks, it grows to over 80 feet tall! Yes, 80 feet in six weeks! Well, not really. It is 80 feet in five years.

“The point is simple. If you had given up for even the shortest period of time, there would be no Bamboo. It took almost impossible persistence. The plant is there for one reason and one reason only-because you never gave up on it.”

If you have a dream, the goal you want to achieve and you have taken action you have to persist with it and you may get days like I do “When that voice in your head chirps up and says you can’t make it, you are no good, or why do you want to change”?

 

But you have to give yourself the chance to jump and learn to fly!! We are only here once and just like the guy who waters the tree for five years, he didn’t stop, he kept going and the reward, in the end, the plant grows and when it does it shoots out of the ground.

 

If you are working towards anything right now, and really want to change something or achieve something?

 

Don’t panic at the early stages, give yourself time and the more you invest your dreams, goals they will come true because  you believed in them and remember they are yours to nurture.

Don’t ever give up!

Thanks

Neil

Share my post

You might also like:

Memory of a goldfish

I’m one of those people that if you tell me something in passing and I haven’t got a bit of paper to write on I will literally forget in about 30 seconds…

 

Years ago when I was studying one of my peers would make a point of constantly telling me that I always forget things and over time it use to make me feel stupid.

I thought enough is enough and at the age of 33, I was diagnosed with Dyslexia. My type of Dyslexia plays around with my memory retention. I now make sure that whenever I am due to go away or need to make notes that my little note pad is by my side. I am no longer the Goldfish but “Mr. Organised”.

I love to be creative, and with this, in mind, I invested in a whiteboard and it helps every day to plan or even prepare for something. But nowadays it’s the “Magic Board”.

I write down my goals every month on the board and there is something powerful once you pick up that marker pen and then it touches the board!! Once I see my goals written visually there is a connection I feel pumped!

Too many people subconsciously believe that simply thinking about doing something is as good as actually acting on it. They confuse thinking, deliberation, and analysis with action. Don’t get me wrong: when you’re setting up goals, you should research. You should get enough information so you can make a truly informed decision.

Wherever your focus goes, you will find your energy flows towards it and I cannot emphasize this enough. If you are focused on something, it is then easier to direct your time, energy and commitment to it. Writing down your goals can enable you to then get clear on your focus and what really matters.

Whether it’s a board, paper or even sticky notes setting goals is a personal thing for you and in this day in age, how much time do any of us actually spend time getting to know us?

Think about that I bet if I asked you about one of your friends, family members or even co-workers? You could tell me within seconds something unique about that person or people?

Use a piece of paper or even aboard and not only write goals, give yourself some much needed praise this is your board and let you see your accomplishments and I bet you will feel great.

That’s the beauty of using goals it gives you a sense of purpose and achievement!

We all deserve a little magic in our lives!!

Thank you

Neil

Share my post

You might also like: