Nothing Changes, if Nothing Changes?

Many of us fear change in our lives, but there are also things we want to change but don’t know where or how to start. If you start every week thinking, my diet starts on Monday, I’m going to exercise this week or this is my time to give up smoking then you’re not the only one, but there is a well-known phrase which says “Nothing Changes, if Nothing Changes” – basically, just wanting something to change isn’t enough, we need to put in the effort or if we continue to do things the same way all the time, we should not expect a different outcome.

Our bad habits will not be broken by wishful thinking. Instead, it takes a genuine commitment to a new way of operating to make any significant and long-term difference in our lives. It is a solid concept. But it is a faulty concept!

For too many people, things are perfectly OK the way they are, as demonstrated by their lack of doing anything about them. Carrying a few pounds of excess weight? “That’s OK I can live with that”. Not impressing the boss? “He is impossible to please!” Finances an issue? “Things will be OK next month”. The fundamental problem with the “nothing changes, if nothing changes” mantra is that many times, things do change if you don’t do anything! If you keep eating three doughnuts for breakfast every day, you won’t stay the same. Your weight will become more of an issue, if you keep underachieving at work, you won’t just get more eye rolls from the boss – you will get fired! And if you keep adding items you can’t afford onto your increasing credit card balance the bank won’t just keep raising your credit limits, you will find yourself in bankruptcy.

So if you often struggle to motivate yourself to make major changes and accept that status quo is “OK” it could be time to take that step and ask for a little help. Not changing may not change anything today, but it may tomorrow. Keeping the same, safe routine will keep you happy today, but a lack of action certainly does not guarantee that everything will remain the same, either that annoying bad habit won’t break or it will eventually break you!

If it were true that not changing would ensure that everything stayed the same, what an easy world this would be to navigate. The truth is that everything is always changing, so if you are not moving forward, you are moving backwards.

It may be a little late for New Year’s resolutions, but there’s always time to begin working to make necessary changes at both home and work, because this much is true – things won’t change unless something changes. Are you ready for change? Yes, why not let me help you along the way. I can assist you in finding a way that will keep you moving forward, contact me <<here>> to book your free complimentary call.

My Guide on How to Overcome Anything

As we are all very aware during this current pandemic situation, life can change very quickly and we can find our circumstances changing for the worst in the blink of an eye. So no matter what you’re going through personally in life, it’s important to always keep in the back of your mind that you will overcome whatever issue you are dealing with and good times will return. It’s important that you reassure yourself of that every day. To help I have pulled together my guide on how to overcome anything, I hope it helps…

Money Worries:

We often put too much stress on ourselves with regards to money, but if the worst comes to the worst and you do get into debt you’ve still got options. Can you ask your family for help? Or your friends? To those of you who say no, is it because of your pride? If it is then it’s time to think again. Asking for help is never something you should feel ashamed of. And if it’s not family or friends, then there’s government assistance, non-profit organisations, and many other options that exist to help us. Don’t be ashamed to ask!

Loss of a job:

Having a job isn’t just about money, it’s about purpose too. When you’re unemployed, you start to feel like you’re not good enough, but your worth isn’t determined by the job you do, it is only determined by you! If you do find yourself out of work use the time to invest in your passions. Look at unemployment as an opportunity to do what you really want with your life.

Breakdown of a relationship/marriage:

You can devote years to one person only for it to explode in your face but don’t let it break you. Let the end of a relationship be a benchmark of what you don’t want in a partner, and let it be a lesson in how YOU can be better in your next relationship.

Becoming ill:

Health problems slow you down and make life harder than it should be. Build your health up now, to cope with change as you good older and you could feel good for the rest of your life. If you want to feel good, you have to live healthily.

Loss of a Loved One:

This is probably the worst thing that could ever happen to you. We will all deal with this one day, but still, there is no one clear answer to handling the death of a loved one. So why not think of the one they this person always encouraged you to do? Now’s your time to do it, and you can make your loved ones you’ve lost proud.


Bad situations in life never have to break you. As long as you’re breathing and as long as you can still move, your bad situations in life can be temporary. If you need a little extra help I can assist you in finding a way to keep moving forward, contact me <<here>> to book your free complimentary call.

How to develop your stress toolkit…

Something I am passionate about is that lovely word we can all relate to… “Stress”!

At times we can feel stressed because we are overwhelmed, by work, family commitments and everything else that daily life brings, on the other hand, we can often become stressed as we feel that we’re not doing enough. So what can we do to try and gain some control over this horrible cycle? We can learn to control our thoughts and decisions by taking the time to be aware of ourselves and once we do this we can then hopefully stop the ball from rolling too quickly down the hill. 

Living a life that is entirely free of stress and adversity sounds like bliss. But, you may be surprised to find that the happiest and healthiest people are often those who have had early exposure to negative experiences. In fact, moderate amounts of stress are necessary for healthy growth. What’s harmful is large doses of uncontrollable stress. In other words, there’s an optimum amount of stress we can cope with – too much and we overload our minds and bodies, too little, strangely results in the same problem!

When stress is triggered, we experience a physiological response in our brains and in our bodies known as “fight or flight”. It’s our brains’ way of keeping us safe. This response is designed to help us escape, flee, run. But once the “fight or flight” response is triggered, your brain wants to know you’ve escaped the threat, so it needs you to assure it that the danger is over.  But, what do you do? You run, swim, dance around your living room, or do literally anything that moves your body enough to get you breathing steadily and deeply.

The problem with our modern lives is that many of the problems that trigger our stress would be completely inappropriate to literally run from. Can you imagine getting up and fleeing the office the next time a colleague annoys you in a meeting? Of course not, so like all of us, you bottle it up, put on a smile and carry on. Meanwhile, your heart is pumping, and stress hormones have flooded the body and brain. So in order to complete the stress circle, you need to develop some coping mechanisms that you can keep in your back pocket like a little stress toolkit and take them out whenever you are in an uncomfortable situation.

My toolkit consists of:

  1. Laughing – It’s hard to feel anxious when you’re laughing and it’s good for your health
  2. Exercising – Putting physical stress on your body through exercise can help relieve any mental stress.
  3. Listening – Music can have a very relaxing effect on the body and can induce the relaxation response by helping lower blood pressure and heart rate as well as stress hormones.
  4. Breathing – Deep breathing will focus your awareness on your breath, making it slower and deeper, this helps slow your heart rate, allowing you to feel more peaceful.

I can help you create your stress toolkit to suit you, contact me <<here>> to book your free complimentary call.

Even lockdown can have a silver lining…

With all that is going on around us at the moment, it seems an unusual time to talk about being positive. Yet staying positive is essential to coping in a crisis. Now, more than ever before is the time for us to be proactive about creating small moments of happiness in our days, whether it is taking a walk with the family, getting round to those little home or garden maintenance jobs you’ve been putting off, the positive emotions these actions produce help us to undo the negative effects of stress.

Here are a few practical things you can do from day to day to foster positive emotions…

Live in the moment:

Even during lockdown, there are still small moments in your daily routine to savour. The smell of coffee, the feel of the warm shower on your back, the smell of cut grass when you are spending time in your garden. Making a point of stopping to take in these moments, give your brain a chance to enjoy the pleasure rather than running on automatic pilot. These feel-good moments elevate your mood and make you feel calm.

Strengthen your connections:

For those of us living in lockdown with family, this is a great opportunity to spend quality time with the ones we love. How many times have you told the kids you were too busy to play or prioritised domestic chores over outdoor fun. Now is the time to break out the board games, lounge around watching a boxset or just take the opportunity to hug your kids or your spouse, look them in the eyes and have long conversations. Creating closeness will boost your oxytocin (the bonding hormone), giving a feeling of calm and when your oxytocin levels spike, your body takes this as a sign to stop producing cortisol (the stress hormone).

Look for the good in others:

These types of crisis can bring out both the worst and the best in human nature, the food stockpiling and toilet roll bulk buying being a real low and the weekly clap for carers proving there is a good side to all of this and suggests that the best in human nature is rising to the coronavirus challenge. Philanthropists such as Bill and Melinda Gates are donating money to scientists to find a cure. Doctors, nurses and supermarket staff are working overtime to help sick patients and furloughed airline staff are driving delivery vans and volunteering in hospitals. Neighbourhoods are putting together care packages for vulnerable people and find beds for those sleeping rough. People are posting positive messages on social media. We’re reaching out to each other to ensure we stay safe and when we tune into these positive and pro-social aspects of the crisis, we are all united in our hope to return to what will be our new “normal”.

Taking charge of our mental health and capturing the small moments will help as we go further into the unknown, research has shown that creating positive emotions on the back of a stressful event, can help us to recover more quickly and have a faster “recovery” time – our heart rate lowers and our blood pressure stabilises more quickly when we are able to be positive.

By tuning into these positive aspects, you can potentially change your brain chemistry and build up your energy stores to help you cope with the other aspects of your day that have been made more difficult. Taking charge of your mental health will help to ensure that you come out of this experience stronger than ever.